Thanksgiving Dinner Review: 18/20

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Alejandro Bonilla and Nicholas Weigold

Ah, Thanksgiving. As Garfield the Cat eloquently stated in the 1989 television special “Garfield’s Thanksgiving,” “that’s the day people celebrate having food by eating as much of it as possible.” In honor of this tradition, the Lowell Public Schools offered hot dinners in their meal, and what is Thanksgiving if you don’t spend it with a friend? Thus, we decided to embark on our perilous journey to the Morey Elementary School to grab the special meal and have a special time, just the two of us bonding over our enjoyment of school lunch.
As we approached the School at 10:50 that cold Wednesday morning, we encountered a line of people ahead of us, something we’ve never seen before on our countless journeys made in the pursuit of school lunch. Was the turkey dinner truly a meal desired by the masses? Was the world even prepared for the culinary masterpiece presented to it by the chefs at Lowell’s schools? That was something we would soon find out.
After acquiring the dinner, we then traveled to the nearby Callery Park and sat down at a table to enjoy our festive meal together. Despite our empirical studies being belittled by some nearby tennis players, accusing us of having a “picnic,” we would not be stopped from reviewing this meal. We opened the bag we were given, pulled out the hot turkey meal, and gazed in surprise at what lay before us.
The presentation of the meal placed its quality into serious question. The meal itself consisted of one large slice of turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and either peas or carrots, all contained within a cardboard tray. The turkey appeared bland, and the gravy had made a mess with the mashed potatoes, though this was somewhat compensated for by the beautiful stuffing and fresh vegetables. Hopefully, the quality of the food was much greater than its appearance.
To our surprise, the meal was incredibly delicious. The turkey was flavorful with perfect texture and only got better with the mashed potatoes and stuffing. The vegetables also brought a lot of flavors and tasted very fresh. The tray was in a class of its own compared to the other meals we’ve tried before. This was further improved by the breakfast servings of Dragon Punch, Pillsbury Mini-Pancakes, and literal loads of dried cranberries.
The Pillsbury Mini-Pancakes were outstanding and established themselves from the get-go as a prominent force in the breakfast food community, given how this was the first time this year that we’ve received this particular item. However, the pouch instructions recommended us to heat the pancakes in an oven set to 350 degrees for about 10 minutes, then let thaw for about 2 hours. As good as these pancakes are, they are not delicious enough to warrant waiting a whole two hours before consuming. A good 30-45 seconds in the microwave will do. The Dragon Punch continued to maintain its pristine reputation, providing a satisfying refreshment level after enjoying all the food. The milk, served to us in the form of three quart-sized jugs, tasted like milk.
All in all, the School’s turkey dinner was fantastic in regards to taste, texture, and moisture, and its quality reflected a proper, hearty sendoff by our schools before the start of the holiday season. Even though you cannot get this meal anymore by the time you read this, we strongly recommend that you get this meal should it ever return in future years. It was a meal so well-crafted that even Garfield the Cat wouldn’t resist trying.
Presentation: 3/5
Texture: 5/5
Taste: 5/5
Moisture: 5/5
Total: 18/20