On October 3, 2021, the International Consortium of Journalists began to publish 11.9 million leaked documents exposing the secret offshore accounts of 35 world leaders and 100 billionaires and celebrities. The estimated amount of money held offshore is estimated to range between 5.6 and 32 trillion U.S. dollars. Granted, not many people have time to sift through millions and millions of documents, so we’ve taken the personal responsibility of condensing this behemoth of tax fraud into a simple four-step program. These are the tricks the wealthy use to keep their money in their pockets and not in the Government’s.

1. Buy the Company, Not the Property

Former U.K. prime minister Tony Blair and his wife, Cherie, want a property in London owned by Romanstone International Ltd., an overseas company. Acquiring the £6.5-million property would’ve incurred a £312,000 stamp duty, and that’s a big no-no. So what trick do the Blairs have up their sleeves to get out of this one? It’s a simple four-step plan:

1. Establish a company based in the U.K.
2. Have the company buy the offshore firm that owns the property.
3. Dissolve the firm, thus bringing the property under U.K. control using the company you made.
4. Stamp duty is never imposed because you bought a company, not the property. The property is a little side-bonus to the acquisition.

Congratulations! You just won yourself a £6.5-million property and saved yourself £312,000. You can now use your new funds to treat yourself to a nice dinner, a perfect view at a five-star hotel, or even hypocritically campaigning against the use of tax loopholes. The power is now in your hands.

2. Feed Your Pockets, Not Your People

One of the most egregious offenders mentioned in the Pandora Papers includes King Abdullah II of Jordan. Documents reveal that he has spent over US$100 million in luxury real estate within the United States and the United Kingdom in places such as Malibu, Washington, D.C., and London. Using several companies based in the British Virgin Islands, the king was able to keep his identity secret while making these ludicrous investments. However, hiding from the rest of the world is only half the battle; you also have to hide the rest of the world from yourself.

The Jordanian media has been suppressed from mentioning King Abdullah’s affairs in the Pandora Papers. The news website AmmanNet was contacted by Jordanian officials asking for a takedown of the BBC Arabic article saying the subject. It’s one thing to be spending exuberant amounts of money on overseas real estate, but doing so as a country leader that receives lots of foreign aid is especially biting.

3. Take Some Time Off

Another prevalent name in the Papers is Czech prime minister Andrej Babiš. Babiš is a known populist who rails against the Elite and the Establishment. The billionaire politician advertises himself as a business manager who wants to rebuild his nation’s economy. That being said, when he isn’t rebuilding economies, he’s spending time in his luxurious estate on the French Riviera. As it turns out, this luxury five-bedroom estate wasn’t acquired with the cleanest methods. From the early ’90s to the late 2000s, Babiš was moving upwards of $22 million to offshore accounts to acquire this estate in 2009, but the legal troubles are a small price to pay for a fantastic trip to an estate Picasso used to live in.

However, staying in a place of your own isn’t as relaxing as staying at a hotel, so of course, you should book a trip to a resort; Babiš had thought ahead, as it turns out his private corporation owned one of the most luxurious resorts just south of Prague. Now, a resort stay like that will cost you an arm and a leg, but that didn’t stop old Andy. He used millions of dollars of European Union subsidies to acquire this hotel. Technically, these subsidies are for “small businesses;” one could argue that your resort could be a small business, as long as you limit the maximum number of guests, of course.

Remember: before planning your vacation, ask yourself these three questions:

1. Is the money I’m using legally acquired?
2. Should I feel bad about using legal loopholes to avoid taxes?
3. Do I care?

Suppose you answered “No” to all of these questions. Great! You’re ready to relax for all your hard work! You deserve it!

4. Stash the Winnings and Stain the Water

Bernard de Laguiche, although a lesser name in the Pandora Papers, committed one of the more heinous acts described in the documents. In 2005 a lab analyst named Pietro Mancini discovered something alarming in the basement of a factory in Northern Italy, a coating of yellow dust that was supposedly left by melting snow flooding the basement. In a separate building, he found a collection of yellow sludge in a crack in the baseboard; he took a sample of this sludge to get an idea of what was seeping through this facility. As it turns out, the sludge was brimming with hexavalent chromium, a chemical known to cause cancer; after telling the workers about the health threat, the manager downplayed it entirely. Mancini testified, saying, “They told me not to worry … that it wasn’t my business”.

In 2001, the company Mancini was working for was bought out by Solvay, a Belgian chemical mega-corporation that promised to contain these chemical leakages and contaminations. Bernard de Laguiche was a director of Solvay. As anyone with power in a mega-corporation would, he cared a lot about money; whether clean, dirty, or counterfeit, you can bet he wanted it. At first, he was all about cleaning up these facilities and keeping communities safe. Still, shortly after, repairs and cleaning started to lag behind and eventually became non-existent. By 2008 the amount of hexavalent chromium in the drinking water wells was 40 times the legal limit. Now, you’re probably asking, “what was old Bernie up to if he wasn’t cleaning these water supplies?” To that, I say, stashing Solvay stocks away to tax havens; of course, at least $57 million was sent out to banks in Switzerland, Singapore, and New Zealand by Bernard or close family members.